What the Flux?

Knifey Spoony for Lovers

2009-08-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

The symphony of a thousand years is in my rectum.

Scherzo for Schizos

2009-08-12T16:52:00.002-07:00

Promote a concert that you know will never happen.

On the evening of the concert, show up with a kazoo and a banjo and attempt to play the Star Spangled Banner.

Diving Bells

2009-08-12T16:52:00.001-07:00

Play the violin until your fingers bleed.

Boston Area Singles Chat

2009-06-07T00:06:00.001-07:00

Flip over the nearest chair.

Feeble Minded Horsethieves

2009-06-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

Right uh letter using all the wrong homonyms.

Tomorrow, right forteen letters. A pear four each day of the week.

Peach.

Sweet Breads

2009-06-07T00:03:00.000-07:00

Chlorine Gas is not a toy.

Monsterously Dangerous Chemical Clouds

2009-06-06T23:59:00.001-07:00

Eat nothing but soybeans for 7 days.

The following 7 days, eat nothing but pepperoni.

Take scientific records of bowel movements including size, shape, consistency and smell.

Bonus FluxPoints for pictures and blogs regarding this experiment.

Repeat ad nauseum.

Phosphorescent Mind Bubbles

2009-06-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

Build a rocketship.

Leave the earth.

Bill Nye, The (Genocidal) Science Guy

2009-06-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

Label everything in your home as a biohazard.

Walk around all day mumbling to yourself about how the government is out to get you.

Forward propaganda and conspiracy theory emails to everyone on your address book.

Deny everything.

Even that you've read this post.

Brontosaurus

2009-06-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

Ignition sequence engaged.

Beginning to launch.

Launched.

That ham from earlier has gone bad.

Robot Uprising

2009-06-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

If I were a robot, would you tell me?

Would I want you to tell me?

Would I believe you if you told me?

Overture to an Imaginary Opera, Part VI

2009-06-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

Be excited for something that doesn't excite you. Ham, for example.

Banjo Serenaders

2009-06-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

Make minute adjustments to your consciousness using only a torque wrench and $4 worth of duct tape.

Kablam

2009-06-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

If all the world's a stage...are all the stages worlds?

Songbird Genesis

2009-06-06T23:43:00.001-07:00

Drill into your own skull with a 3/4" drill bit.

Survive and tell your story.

The Illusion of Greatness

2009-05-11T09:56:00.001-07:00

Be James Swearingen.

Triple Fudge Sundaes

2009-05-11T09:55:00.003-07:00

Don't leave your house during the day. Complete all tasks between Sundown and Sunrise.

Lies

2009-05-11T09:55:00.001-07:00

Cake.

Existing.

Marble Heaven

2009-04-28T23:21:00.002-07:00

Simulate the entire NFL season.

Bet on Toomanytribbles at Belmont in the 6th.

Lord of the Tomatoes #2

2009-04-28T23:21:00.001-07:00

Open that same pack of cards and eat the 2 of Diamonds.

Titty Twister

2009-04-28T23:20:00.000-07:00

Go to IHOP.

Order water.

Drink all the syrup.

Leave a nice tip, she deserves it.

Lord of the Tomatoes

2009-04-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

Open a pack of cards and remove the Ace of Spades.

Eat the Ace of Spades.

Forget Me Nots

2009-04-28T23:16:00.002-07:00

Dial 7 random digits.

Ask for George.

Repeat until you get a George.

Ask for George Twisselbottom.

Repeat until you get a George Twisselbottom.

If you get a George Twisselbottom, you have won.

Mysterious Smells

2009-04-28T23:16:00.001-07:00

Loan me $300.

Twist Tie

2009-04-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

Eat as much soup as you can in one hour.

Declare yourself the winner.

Oops

2009-04-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

Get drunk and draw on your own face.

Make sure to use as many phallic objects in your art as possible.

That same Zeppelin Race

2009-04-28T23:11:00.000-07:00

Light a can of WD-40 ablaze in your living room. Light marshmallows while dodging shrapnel.

Somnos

2009-04-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

Dream in black and white.

Yarbrough Fair

2009-04-28T23:09:00.002-07:00

Smash your face into a pane of glass.

Tell onlookers you were taking one for the team.

Peter Piper's Pepper Patch

2009-04-28T23:09:00.001-07:00

Diet Sprite Enemas for everyone!

Avant Garde Shit

2009-04-28T23:08:00.001-07:00

Be a Pretentious Douche-Nozzle for 2 days.

If you don't know how to be one,

You already have performed this piece.

Tron Carter Memorial High School

2009-04-25T20:21:00.001-07:00

six packs of Chewing Gum sit on a rack.

five fall down.

three remain.

Pardon My Stench

2009-04-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

Go to the local farmers market and purchase as many vegetables as you can afford.

Place them in a pile in the center of the market and begin reselling them for 10% of what you paid.

If confronted, claim sanctuary.

White Slavery and a Zeppelin Race

2009-04-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

Open a portal to nowhere using the blood of a goat and a virgin sacrifice.

Open a Blimpie there.

Dipsticks Aweigh

2009-04-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

Fondle mannequins at department stores until you are told to stop.

Fondle the person telling you to stop.

Monet's Mistresses

2009-04-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

Place ads in your everyday life.

Advertise nothing.

O'Reilly's Wall Building Experience

2009-04-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

Abort.

Eggplant Parliament

2009-04-25T20:11:00.002-07:00

Buy an ice cream cone from your local vendor.

Throw that ice cream cone as hard as you can on the ground.

Demand a new ice cream cone.

Repeat.

Diamond Cutting for Dummies

2009-04-25T20:11:00.001-07:00

Squash rackets for everyone.

Charles Nelson Reilly

2009-04-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

Bring about the apocalypse using only two toothpicks and a 1956 Chevrolet Bel-Air.

The Promise of Living

2009-04-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

Throw a lemon at your friend.

Apologize.

Explain that the high cost of gasoline has made you edgy.

Repeat.

Charlie Bonnet and his magic Bag

2009-04-25T20:05:00.001-07:00

You are not you.

I am not me.

We are not we.

She is you.

I am he.

We are she.

I am not we.

Sunspot High Life

2009-04-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Orange you glad I didn't say Pasta?

Anenome

2009-04-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

Stand fast to one spot in a mall...ask people to bring you food.

Explain that you can't eat the food as you are a filter feeder and can only eat plankton.

Ask for plankton.

Loren's Dilemma

2009-04-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

The broccoli must touch the chicken,

the chicken must touch the peas,

the peas mustn't ever touch the broccoli,

the gravy covers it all.

Does the gravy simultaneously connect all points hither there to?

Sticky

2009-04-25T19:59:00.001-07:00

Marmalade Jam Jelly Preserves Jam Jelly, Preserves.

Penis

2009-04-25T19:56:00.002-07:00

Penis penis penis penis penis

Penis penis penis penis penis, penis penis.

Penis penis penis penis penis.

Accusations in D-flat Minor

2009-04-25T19:56:00.001-07:00

Accuse someone of doing something innocuous but as if it were the most heinous thing in the known universe.

Never back down.

Slippery

2009-04-25T19:55:00.001-07:00

Coat your genitals in teflon.

Drinking Happenings

2009-04-25T19:54:00.001-07:00

Beer

Liquor

Beer

Beer

Liquor

Newborn Event

2009-04-25T19:53:00.001-07:00

Look at photos of a newborn.

Find nothing nice to say about it.

Exorcism Event

2009-04-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Invite Satan into your life to drive out Jesus.

Mediocrity Event

2009-04-24T08:34:00.001-07:00

1. Buy a watermelon.

2. Treat this watermelon as if it were your spouse.

3. Speak candidly about making love to your watermelon spouse. Refer to them as the top/giver no matter which gender you are.

4. Sadly explain that they are inadequate in bed.

5. Eat watermelon salad the next day.

Flowers of Time

2009-04-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

Don't read this.

XRay Event

2009-04-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Remove your liver using only household objects.

Fluxbonus for Spoons and Pie Servers.

Flux Red Blue for Brant

2009-04-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

Pay $100.

Martial Law

2009-04-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

1. Declare martial law at a department store.

2. Arrange the mannequins in phalanxes.

3. CHARGE!

Full Moon Happening

2009-04-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

Argue publicly with a friend that the Moon is entirely too small for your taste.

If at all possible, attempt to get a piece on the topic published in a local newspaper.

Tim and Eric Event

2009-04-24T01:02:00.000-07:00

1. Think "Tim and Eric: Awesome Show, Great Job!" is a funny show.

2. Be wrong.

Universal Happenings

2009-04-24T01:01:00.001-07:00

Sexually harass your neighbor.

Fluxus Event

2009-04-24T01:00:00.001-07:00

Be a productive citizen.

1040FU

2009-04-24T00:52:00.001-07:00

File your taxes this year.

Try as hard as you can to be audited.

Show up for the audit dressed impeccably.

Speak in gibberish.

Alcohol Event

2009-04-24T00:50:00.000-07:00

Buy a drink for someone across the bar from you. Ask them to repay you.

Pornography Time

2009-04-24T00:49:00.003-07:00

Announce to a room full of your peers that you enjoy looking at pornography.

Yellow Dangers

2009-04-24T00:49:00.001-07:00

Accuse everyone of being a spy for the Chinese today. NEVER apologize.

Trampoline Music

2009-04-24T00:47:00.000-07:00

Bounce on a trampoline for 12 hours.

SDSU Music Department

2009-04-24T00:46:00.002-07:00

Ruin music for someone today.

Prime Numbers

2009-04-24T00:46:00.001-07:00

whenever you buy anything on days that are prime, only buy them in prime quantities.

The Palace Event

2009-04-24T00:45:00.001-07:00

Don't throw anything away for one year.

Locust Event

2009-04-24T00:44:00.001-07:00

Eat all the food in your house including all condiments, spices and herbs.

Polar Day

2009-04-24T00:43:00.001-07:00

Lie to your freezer about the weather.

NBA All-Star Game

2009-04-24T00:42:00.002-07:00

Father as many children as you can in 5 years. Keep track.

#750 for Kobe Bryant

2009-04-24T00:42:00.001-07:00

White women.

Lemon Lime Surprise

2009-04-24T00:39:00.000-07:00

Get 6 lemons and 5 limes.
While purchasing at the register, complain about the lack of oranges.
When confronted by the fact that the store has oranges, accuse the cashier of colluding with the citrus growers to jack up the price of citrus.
Leave without paying.

Mojave Event

2009-04-24T00:38:00.001-07:00

Eat a habanero pepper.

Clean Streets #2 for C.T.B.

2009-04-24T00:37:00.001-07:00

Paint a cop car red.

Finality

2009-04-24T00:36:00.001-07:00

Die for something you believe in.

#502 for M.Q.P

2009-04-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

Lie to yourself about any number of things during the day. Apologize the next day.

Dimwit Investigations

2009-04-24T00:32:00.000-07:00

Perform open heart surgery on your brother...if you don't have a brother, perform it on yourself.

Partial Evacuation

2009-04-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

Only defecate in public restrooms all day. Eat dinner in your home bathroom.

Obama Event

2009-04-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

Make every 3rd word "Hope" and every 16th word "Change"

Karma Event

2009-04-24T00:28:00.000-07:00

Give money to charity to the point that your possessions are repossessed and your life becomes a shambles.

Apply for help from that charity.

Pineapple Smoothies

2009-04-24T00:27:00.000-07:00

Become addicted to Heroin.

Microscopic Nomenclature

2009-04-24T00:26:00.000-07:00

For one day, use only words that are monosyllabic.

Folding Event

2009-04-24T00:25:00.000-07:00

Develop an allergy to fabric softener. Apply for disability.

Post Haste

2009-04-24T00:24:00.001-07:00

Mail two objects to yourself.

Change

2009-04-24T00:22:00.000-07:00

Eat as many nickels as you can in one minute. Challenge a friend to eat the same amount of money in pennies.

Get together in 12 hours to see how much change was recovered.

Christmastimeevent

2009-04-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

Declare war on organized religion for a whole month.

Diet Event

2009-04-24T00:16:00.001-07:00

Build a house out of Pop Tarts. Light it ablaze. Dance all night.

Project for Nighttime

2009-04-24T00:14:00.001-07:00

1. Draw anything you want on a piece of butcher paper.

2. Take it outside.

3. Fight it to the death on your front lawn.

4. Declare victory.