Knifey Spoony for Lovers

The symphony of a thousand years is in my rectum.

Scherzo for Schizos

Promote a concert that you know will never happen.

On the evening of the concert, show up with a kazoo and a banjo and attempt to play the Star Spangled Banner.

Diving Bells

Play the violin until your fingers bleed.

Boston Area Singles Chat

Flip over the nearest chair.

Feeble Minded Horsethieves

Right uh letter using all the wrong homonyms.

Tomorrow, right forteen letters. A pear four each day of the week.

Peach.

Sweet Breads

Chlorine Gas is not a toy.

Monsterously Dangerous Chemical Clouds

Eat nothing but soybeans for 7 days.

The following 7 days, eat nothing but pepperoni.

Take scientific records of bowel movements including size, shape, consistency and smell.

Bonus FluxPoints for pictures and blogs regarding this experiment.

Repeat ad nauseum.

Phosphorescent Mind Bubbles

Build a rocketship.

Leave the earth.

Bill Nye, The (Genocidal) Science Guy

Label everything in your home as a biohazard.

Walk around all day mumbling to yourself about how the government is out to get you.

Forward propaganda and conspiracy theory emails to everyone on your address book.

Deny everything.

Even that you've read this post.

Brontosaurus

Ignition sequence engaged.

Beginning to launch.

Launched.

That ham from earlier has gone bad.

Robot Uprising

If I were a robot, would you tell me?

Would I want you to tell me?

Would I believe you if you told me?

Overture to an Imaginary Opera, Part VI

Be excited for something that doesn't excite you. Ham, for example.

Banjo Serenaders

Make minute adjustments to your consciousness using only a torque wrench and $4 worth of duct tape.

Kablam

If all the world's a stage...are all the stages worlds?

Songbird Genesis

Drill into your own skull with a 3/4" drill bit.

Survive and tell your story.

The Illusion of Greatness

Be James Swearingen.

Triple Fudge Sundaes

Don't leave your house during the day. Complete all tasks between Sundown and Sunrise.

Lies

Cake.

Existing.

Marble Heaven

Simulate the entire NFL season.

Bet on Toomanytribbles at Belmont in the 6th.

Lord of the Tomatoes #2

Open that same pack of cards and eat the 2 of Diamonds.